[ A story! Hmm. Hmhmhm. Well, the most obvious thing comes to mind, the story he's recounted a thousand times. It's probably not a great thing to tell people about here but-- ]
I'll tell you about the time I defected, joined the other side, and fed them information about how to destroy the other guys' superweapon and where all of their bases were located.
[ Traitor is such a strong word but, uh, that's him! ]
（ it's so spectacularly blunt that it actually gets an exhalation of something very nearly laughter out of him. oh, finn. ）
What was it they did that warranted defection?
（ he has been a traitor among traitors for years. no shinobi leaves their village that was not driven to it. sometimes what drives them is a lust for blood that the village will not allow them to sate, and sometimes it is true mistreatment — but there is always a catalyst. ）
[ Finn's happy and not really surprised that Itachi already seems to understand. ]
They would kill innocent civilians. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of other things. Me and the other troops were all taken as babies and toddlers to serve them, our homes likely destroyed. They didn't care about the soldiers at all. Regular periods of indoctrination, brutal training, removing the weaker ones to front line work, even referring to us as designations instead of names.
I was squad leader over three others. We did simulations together before getting on the field and one was terrible. I would always go back for him, and we had the best times of the entire platoon, but I would still get reprimanded for making sure he made it.
Anyway, there was a colony of miners. Slaves, though the Order called them workers or something. We had to go in and negotiate a strike. They wanted better living conditions, some sort of access to healthcare, honestly basic things. But we were sent in to kill the negotiators and the more senior troops restored order in the colony. Our first assignment.
A few days later, we were sent to a village. The guy I was trying to look after was shot down, and the Order had the villagers rounded up in the square and killed once they reached their objective. I couldn't stay after that.
Plus, I... didn't fire a shot in the village. They wanted to see my firearm for inspection and they would have known. I would have been sent to reconditioning or something. With Slip dead, I had to leave.
[ This is already not much of a fun story... Poe always tells it like it was some whirlwind adventure, some daring and heroic deed. Finn supposes that he's not Poe. ]
（ it sounds so much like the future danzō envisioned that for a moment, thought is eclipsed by that old, dark sorrow — the awful ache that clawed its way from the stained earth of a battlefield when he was a child. he wonders if finn has had the same impression of him — that they have some manner of shared history, enough not to sugarcoat the horror.
finally — ）
It was a brave thing. Breaking away from such a life is — difficult.
Edited (when u tag between lobbies in a video game and are dummy redundant) 2022-02-20 01:59 (UTC)
[ Finn doesn't want to make presumptions about people's past but he does feel that he and Itachi are cut from some similar cloth. That said, he's never been good at sugar coating. ]
I'm not sure I'd call it brave... but thank you. I'm just glad I got out.
（ the ring on his right hand is heavier than usual. he adjusts it, smoothing his thumb over its face. ）
When one does a brave thing, it is usually fear that drives them. It is difficult to piece it apart, when all you know is how you feel. Bravery is a word that comes from other people.
（ no one feels brave in the moment. that is simply life. ）
That's a good point.... I just never meant for it to be- [ World changing? A statement? ] The things that happened because of it weren't my intentions at first. It feels weird to take credit for it, sometimes.
[ Okay, all the time. But it wasn't his intentions at first. That changed quickly. ]
I have asked you a great many questions and not indulged many in return. Is there anything you would like to know?
（ he won't necessarily answer them (or at the very least, answer them honestly) but it feels better, at least, to make the effort. finn is one of the very first people here that was kind to him. ）
I- Well... [ He has so many questions, oh no! ] I don't mind answering questions. It's all right.
... But I have been wondering- [ About the eyes? About the crows? About the powers? Actually... he decides to settle on something different. ] You've been doing this for a long time, haven't you? Like me.
（ he considers the question, the soft earnestness of it and what he imagines can only be a desire for the connection borne of similarity. but finn chose a question he would not trouble himself to lie about, so after a moment: ）
No. While you correct in that I've been... 'doing this' for the majority of my life, it would insult what you have endured were I to insinuate our situations were similar beyond our martial training.
（ there's a rustle of his clothing as he shakes his head, hair snaking over one shoulder. ）
I was raised from birth to be shinobi. Unlike your experience, I had my clan and family around me, the support and protection that their presence entailed.
（ he says it to acknowledge his own privilege rather than in any attempt to rub it in, his voice is gentle, the customary neutrality filed down. what emotion exists there is sorrow at what finn lost, or never had — soft melancholy threaded through the words like ivy winding through a trellis. ）
It is the custom of my people to attend a ninja academy beginning at age six, where one learns the fundamental skills of the trade, and upon my graduation I served my village in this fashion. Some find that training difficult, but it is rarely brutal — though it can be so, when wartime provisioning is active. I was not born in such a time.
The only thing that is perhaps analogous to your own experience is the time I spent in a unique combat division, first as a unit member and then as a captain. However, I was an adult by then.
（ at least as far as his own perception goes — cultural adulthood is bestowed upon a shinobi when they receive the rank of chūnin, his promotion happening when he was all of ten. ）
[ Finn's not sure what he means by "insult" considering what he went through doesn't feel like anything particularly special. But he stays quiet about that and just listens, immediately seeing the differences in their lives as Itachi continues.
He doesn't see it as rubbing in the fact that Itachi had a family, no. He sees the factual statement, the neutrality, and maybe something else that he decides to not examine right now.
But he also sees the similarities they share. The fact that they were both put into roles of combat at a young age. Even if Itachi hadn't seen real combat until he was older- Well, Finn hadn't either. What he doesn't know is that he was much older than Itachi at the time.
Hell, he doesn't realize the difference in their ages now. ]
That's a pretty unique experience, though, and I'm glad you had the support... It is different from what I've been through, but nothing's the exact same, anyway.
Thanks for telling me. [ He feels closer to him for it. ]
（ it's odd to be thanked for it. the information is nothing he considers remarkable or extraordinary — but then, as someone whose entire life has been put on display in a bingo book, perhaps he is underestimating the impact the telling has on others. he is accustomed to the only secrets he has being the ones he died to keep. ）
Of course.
（ he can't bring himself to say 'you're welcome'. ）
I have taken enough of your attention for the time being, Finn-san, and it is quite late. Let us speak more at a later date.
[ Finn wants to ask if Itachi's okay given how this conversation felt like it came from nowhere. But either everything's fine and the question would be weird or Finn suspects that Itachi just won't directly answer him.
That's okay. Finn's there for him either way. Given that Itachi reached out, he thinks that's clear and is happy for it. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
（ he is silent for a long time, wrestling with his natural disinclination to impose. sometimes, accepting what is offered is the less selfish thing.
then: ）
A story, perhaps?
no subject
I'll tell you about the time I defected, joined the other side, and fed them information about how to destroy the other guys' superweapon and where all of their bases were located.
[ Traitor is such a strong word but, uh, that's him! ]
no subject
What was it they did that warranted defection?
（ he has been a traitor among traitors for years. no shinobi leaves their village that was not driven to it. sometimes what drives them is a lust for blood that the village will not allow them to sate, and sometimes it is true mistreatment — but there is always a catalyst. ）
no subject
They would kill innocent civilians. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of other things. Me and the other troops were all taken as babies and toddlers to serve them, our homes likely destroyed. They didn't care about the soldiers at all. Regular periods of indoctrination, brutal training, removing the weaker ones to front line work, even referring to us as designations instead of names.
I was squad leader over three others. We did simulations together before getting on the field and one was terrible. I would always go back for him, and we had the best times of the entire platoon, but I would still get reprimanded for making sure he made it.
Anyway, there was a colony of miners. Slaves, though the Order called them workers or something. We had to go in and negotiate a strike. They wanted better living conditions, some sort of access to healthcare, honestly basic things. But we were sent in to kill the negotiators and the more senior troops restored order in the colony. Our first assignment.
A few days later, we were sent to a village. The guy I was trying to look after was shot down, and the Order had the villagers rounded up in the square and killed once they reached their objective. I couldn't stay after that.
Plus, I... didn't fire a shot in the village. They wanted to see my firearm for inspection and they would have known. I would have been sent to reconditioning or something. With Slip dead, I had to leave.
[ This is already not much of a fun story... Poe always tells it like it was some whirlwind adventure, some daring and heroic deed. Finn supposes that he's not Poe. ]
no subject
finally — ）
It was a brave thing. Breaking away from such a life is — difficult.
no subject
I'm not sure I'd call it brave... but thank you. I'm just glad I got out.
no subject
（ the ring on his right hand is heavier than usual. he adjusts it, smoothing his thumb over its face. ）
When one does a brave thing, it is usually fear that drives them. It is difficult to piece it apart, when all you know is how you feel. Bravery is a word that comes from other people.
（ no one feels brave in the moment. that is simply life. ）
no subject
That's a good point.... I just never meant for it to be- [ World changing? A statement? ] The things that happened because of it weren't my intentions at first. It feels weird to take credit for it, sometimes.
[ Okay, all the time. But it wasn't his intentions at first. That changed quickly. ]
Maybe it was a little brave...
no subject
Very rarely does one expect throwing a pebble to begin a landslide — yet it can still happen. It is all right to acknowledge your own courage.
（ and then, almost playfully — ）
Just don't let it go to your head.
no subject
I won't. Promise.
no subject
I'll hold you to that.
（ there is a considering silence. then: ）
I have asked you a great many questions and not indulged many in return. Is there anything you would like to know?
（ he won't necessarily answer them (or at the very least, answer them honestly) but it feels better, at least, to make the effort. finn is one of the very first people here that was kind to him. ）
no subject
I- Well... [ He has so many questions, oh no! ] I don't mind answering questions. It's all right.
... But I have been wondering- [ About the eyes? About the crows? About the powers? Actually... he decides to settle on something different. ] You've been doing this for a long time, haven't you? Like me.
Was it... the same?
no subject
No. While you correct in that I've been... 'doing this' for the majority of my life, it would insult what you have endured were I to insinuate our situations were similar beyond our martial training.
（ there's a rustle of his clothing as he shakes his head, hair snaking over one shoulder. ）
I was raised from birth to be shinobi. Unlike your experience, I had my clan and family around me, the support and protection that their presence entailed.
（ he says it to acknowledge his own privilege rather than in any attempt to rub it in, his voice is gentle, the customary neutrality filed down. what emotion exists there is sorrow at what finn lost, or never had — soft melancholy threaded through the words like ivy winding through a trellis. ）
It is the custom of my people to attend a ninja academy beginning at age six, where one learns the fundamental skills of the trade, and upon my graduation I served my village in this fashion. Some find that training difficult, but it is rarely brutal — though it can be so, when wartime provisioning is active. I was not born in such a time.
The only thing that is perhaps analogous to your own experience is the time I spent in a unique combat division, first as a unit member and then as a captain. However, I was an adult by then.
（ at least as far as his own perception goes — cultural adulthood is bestowed upon a shinobi when they receive the rank of chūnin, his promotion happening when he was all of ten. ）
no subject
He doesn't see it as rubbing in the fact that Itachi had a family, no. He sees the factual statement, the neutrality, and maybe something else that he decides to not examine right now.
But he also sees the similarities they share. The fact that they were both put into roles of combat at a young age. Even if Itachi hadn't seen real combat until he was older- Well, Finn hadn't either. What he doesn't know is that he was much older than Itachi at the time.
Hell, he doesn't realize the difference in their ages now. ]
That's a pretty unique experience, though, and I'm glad you had the support... It is different from what I've been through, but nothing's the exact same, anyway.
Thanks for telling me. [ He feels closer to him for it. ]
no subject
Of course.
（ he can't bring himself to say 'you're welcome'. ）
I have taken enough of your attention for the time being, Finn-san, and it is quite late. Let us speak more at a later date.
no subject
[ Finn wants to ask if Itachi's okay given how this conversation felt like it came from nowhere. But either everything's fine and the question would be weird or Finn suspects that Itachi just won't directly answer him.
That's okay. Finn's there for him either way. Given that Itachi reached out, he thinks that's clear and is happy for it. ]
Goodnight, Itachi.
no subject
To you as well.
（ brusque motherfucker. but finn, entirely without meaning to, has given him a great many things to think about. ）