hatejakku | erku: IC Contact

And I think you're biased.

[ Obviously very biased, but Jim isn't about to complain. Maybe he enjoys Finn being incredibly biased when it comes to him. Small, casual reminders that Finn's feelings for him aren't going anywhere.

... not that he worries (often), but anyway. ]

I'd like that.

[ It's the thought of Finn and him cooking together in the kitchen that makes his heart go a little faster again, a mix of excitement and worry and happiness and nervousness all over again. It's all so terribly domestic, and he can't help but worry that Jim absolutely misread Finn's remark about moving in, that it was all just a joke and he doesn't want the kind of limitations that come with a commitment like that.

And there he goes, overthinking again. ]

I'd like that. A lot. [ God, he's so nervous he can't even finish his dessert. This is ridiculous. ] I want to cook all kinds of meals with you. And do other things together with you.

[ Finn, at first, only laughs about being biased. ] Maybe I am but that doesn't make it less true. [ Because, fact, James is the best and so is this dessert.

Not that he's thinking about it since he's still so very clueless, but Finn had completely meant the remark as a joke at the time. Not because he didn't want that with James but because he still can't imagine that kind of thing happening. Can't imagine that James would want that sort of thing with him, something that was very definitely not just 'roommates.'

Then again, as time goes on and James does things like giving him such thoughtful gifts or working hard on a dinner or just saying things like that, it makes the idea of reciprocation seem like not so much of a pipe dream, after all.

His smile turns warm and soft quickly enough. Given how it's spoken, the 'other things' bit doesn't entirely feel promiscuous, either. Which is fortunate, because Finn wants to do everything with him like a clingy little puppy. Unsurprising and as is usual when he has too much love to properly express, he gently takes Jim's hand in his and lifts it just enough to press a kiss to his knuckles. ]

Me, too. You never even have to ask.

[ Yeah, okay, never mind his dessert. He probably couldn't stomach it right now anyway, with how ridiculously nervous he is. And then Finn takes his hand and kisses his knuckles, and he says those words and Jim nearly shakes apart. ]

I do. I do have to ask, because this is— you are—

[ He pauses, mouth opening, closing, opening again, then groans in nervous frustration. Closing his eyes for a moment, he finally gets to his feet, still holding on Finn's hand and tugging on it. ]

Alright, come with me. I need to show you something.

[ Show, or ask, whatever. He does need to get this out of the way before he chickens out of it. Once Finn is up, Jim leads them to his bedroom, which has also been decorated to match the theme. There are some nicer fabrics hanging on the walls and over the window for a nicer, softer mood, some candles which haven't yet been lit, and rose petals strewn across the bed in a very over-the-top fashion. Jim was kind of planning on going through a whole different scenario but he feels like his nerves might get the best of him at this point, so the dancing together and cuddling on the couch before bed will have to wait. ]

[ The initial reaction catches him off-guard, and he instantly realizes that James is still nervous, after all. About what, he doesn't know, but it worries him that James does think he needs to request time together and just affection in general. Had Finn not been doing enough? Not been clear enough?

That's... unacceptable.

But he doesn't say anything while his smile slowly fades and James tries to figure out what to say. Stays quiet when they get up and he's lead away.

It takes him a second to take in the room. A smile wants to tug on his lips when he sees the unlit candles and then a smile does appear when he spies the flower petals on the bed. Stars, Jim couldn't be sweeter.

But Jim is also still nervous, which makes Finn nervous and guilty at once. He tries to keep the little smile, anyway, tries to get across that there's nothing to be nervous about no matter what's about to happen. ]

What's all this? [ If it weren't for the anxiety going around, Finn would no doubt be dead with happiness soon. And dancing was planned? Force save him. ]

[ Yes, yes, it's all very romantic and sweet, but it's not the decoration that Jim's brought Finn into the room for. Well, not this time around anyway. That was all part of his carefully laid out plan before (because obviously he'd put together a plan before and obsess over sticking to every tiny detail), but now he realizes that leaving this part for last was probably the worst idea when he can't handle how insecure he feels right now. ]

It's— for you. [ Obviously. Anyway, Jim shakes his head. ] We'll get to that in a moment.

[ He leads Finn towards the dresser instead, and opens the drawers. Well, just a couple of them, enough that Finn can see that Jim's clothes are only taking up half of each, neatly folded and tucked aside, leaving half of each drawer completely empty. The closet's been arranged the same way, even though Finn can't see it. ]

When were were on Peter's ship, that was nice. I mean, the blizzard sucked, but we had our own room and we spent a lot of time together and I really enjoyed it. A lot. I never thought I'd enjoy sharing so much of my personal space with someone else. But I did, even though the space was tiny and cramped and a little dark. I liked glancing over and seeing your clothes next to mine, and I liked going to sleep and waking up next to you every day.

[ Okay, this is closer. More like it. He should've just gone with this from the get go instead of overcomplicating everything. ]

I want that again. Every day, or— well, closer to it. [ His fingers tighten around Finn's hand. ] Move in with me.

[ There's a beat, a moment where it almost sounds like he's being too demanding. So he adds quickly. ] If you want. You don't have to, obviously.

[ The bed covered in rose petals getting totally glossed over also catches him off-guard. And then he's lead away again and James is opening random drawers and half of his clothes appear to be missing and what the hell is going on. Oh, stars, has Finn driven him to some weird breakdown? What's happening?

His expression is mostly blank only because he's trying to decide whether to be worried or sad or confused or some rough mix of it all, which is why all he's got for James is a blink when he turns back to him. And then they're talking about Peter and the blizzard and Finn just shuts his racing mind off to listen. This is all very confusing.

Despite the warmth spreading in his chest as the point finally starts to dawn on him, Finn's still a bit too shocked to react immediately. Needless to say, he hadn't expected tonight to go this way. Or any night, for that matter.

The anxiety and doubt tries to hit him first but it's not as effective as it used to be. James clearly knew what he was asking for, clearly knew that he wanted this. Them. This was more serious than just dating, though, being boyfriends and gooey about it. And there's a lot of implications to examine here, if he had the time. And consequences, too, for when they inevitably part ways.

He considers these implications and consequences for a brief second, then brushes them aside. That's later. This is now. And James is still nervous. Of all things, nervous about Finn's answer.

Said answer comes in the form of a slow but blinding smile, probably giving off the very true vibe that he could start crying if this got any sappier. ]

Yes... I- I mean, if you're sure. It doesn't have to- [ -be permanent. James could change his mind at any time, that's what he wants to say. No harm done, it'd be okay, they could just step back, blah blah blah. Finn's too checked out to really talk right now. ] ... I- I'd love to. Yes.

[ Sorry about that death grip on your hand, Jim. He doesn't notice. ]

[ He's definitely not trying to make Finn worry here, so... that's his bad. Whoops. Anyway, hopefully those worries are put to rest once he starts getting to the point, which he tries not to take too long to do. He doesn't want to hesitate, and he also doesn't want to leave Finn wondering if something's wrong with him.

As for the consequences and implications, Jim hasn't really thought about them much. Or he has, but then quickly decided that they're not nearly as important as the happiness that Finn makes him feel, the security, the warmth, the love that the other man gives him. The love that they share. Even if this might be doomed to not last (which, to be fair, neither of them have any idea if that's the case).

At least Finn's smiling. Oh. Good. Good, that's a good sign. Jim can actually feel the tension bleed out of him, and when he lets out a breath, it's shaky and audible and it matches a wide, unrestrained smile that spreads with across his features. He very nearly starts laughing nervously, but manages to hold it back, instead stepping closer to Finn. ]

I swear, Finn, if you'd just told me I don't have to do this I think I would've slapped you.

[ Well, not really, but Finn knows what he means. He doesn't do anything because he has to, he does it because he wants to, especially when it comes to them. ]

Okay. Yes. [ It's fine, his hand will survive that. He's too busy leaning in to kiss Finn to even give a crap about that grip. ]

[ Finn still doesn't know how to react to literally any of this, but he does finally get what he means, at least. James wants to give to him as much as he wants to give back. It shouldn't be as much of a revelation that it is, especially since James hasn't exactly been stingy with his giving nature towards Finn. He's practically given him everything already, after all.

But Finn's still getting used to this give and take sort of thing, this leaning on each other stuff. Sometimes, it does still hit like a revelation, and he hopes he never gets as spoiled as he suspects James wants him to be. He could never forgive himself if he weren't just as grateful as he is right now.

Instead of saying anything else (words really can't sum it up), Finn lets his hand slide over Jim's neck and into his hair before leaning into the kiss. It's one of those where he's smiling too much to make it functional but it's still slow enough to the point where he tries. ]

I love you...

[ Never mind. There are some words for this. ]

[ Well, this is a relationship, and Jim happened to be the one to suggest giving it a try to begin with. Granted, at the time Finn clearly had more feelings for him than the other way around, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a relationship, and for him that means some give and take. Not just because he feels like he has to, but because he wants to, and he likes to make Finn happy. It makes him happy too, in turn.

Right now, he could probably just melt into that kiss, get lost in the warmth that practically engulfs him when Finn's close to him like this. And when he tells him again that he loves him, Jim knows it's the time— it's the right time, the perfect time to just... say it back.

Except in a second that perfect time is gone, and he feels scared all over again. Instead he curls his arms tightly around Finn's neck, practically clinging to him as he buries his face in his neck. ]

[ The mood shifts, Finn senses. Like James was nervous all over again as he ducked his head and hugged him close. But, Finn supposed, this is scary. He is pretty nervous about such a big change, worried he'd screw it up in the first six hours.

James, though, has nothing to be afraid of.

Finn rubs his hands over his back, nuzzling against his jaw. A large part of him wants to thank him just for caring but he isn't sure that's the correct thing to say. Well, maybe silence is better.

So he rubs over his back and ducks his head, too, just enough that James can feel his smile, feel how happy he's made him tonight. His own gift, in comparison, doesn't quite square up. He'll have to think up some extra gifts to at least meet half of this. Instead of feeling guilty about it, he only finds himself excited to give James more, as much as he can. ]

[ Honestly, Jim just feels like a coward right now. It's not that he feels pressured to return the confession each time Finn says it, because he doesn't. If anything, Finn's made him feel incredibly warm and happy each time he's told him he loves him, and never once has he pressured him into sorting through his own feelings and saying them out loud.

But he does want to say it. He wants to let Finn now how much his feelings are returned, but the closest he's managed so far was those stupid songs, and he kind of feels stupid for it, not even capable of voicing his feelings like an adult. On the one hand, he wants to make sure that he's ready, that he's there, but on the other he wonders how much of his hesitance is just plain fear because he's never had to deal with anything like this. He also doesn't want Finn to just get tired of expressing his feelings into a void that will give nothing back and eventually leave, but he doesn't want that to be the reason why he pushes himself to open up.

God, just thinking about it makes his head hurt. He's complicating things, he's sure. Finn's so wonderful, though, holding him like this, comforting him even when he doesn't have a clue of what's upsetting him.

It's not long before he's smiling too, shifting his head to press a few kisses to Finn's jaw and cheek, finally pulling back so he can kiss him on the lips proper. ]

I planned for some dancing after our dinner, but... if you want, we can just skip to the bath. And maybe we can pick a fun square to tick off together?

[ Not that Jim needs that to want to have sex with Finn, but he's found the cards pretty inspiring at times. They could do something new and different, and maybe it'll help Jim stop worrying about everything else for now. ]

[ If Jim were a void, then Finn would still happily tell him that he loved him everyday without ever considering leaving. But that's not what James is. He gives Finn so much affection, he sometimes feels like he's drowning in it, like he can't possibly hope to give nearly as much back, like he just isn't good enough to be able to. He doesn't know if it's love, can't even speculate about that, but he knows that James cares. It's in actions, not words.

He finds himself relieved when James pulls away with a smile, apparently reassured. Finn feels a strike of something warm, knowing he can comfort him. ]

That sounds wonderful. [ His arms are still around Jim, keeping them close for now. That warmth in his chest only grows. ] Don't get the wrong idea, though. I love dancing with you. But a bath sounds amazing.

[ Jim can't help but chuckle at that. It doesn't matter what Jim thinks of, what he plans or what he suggests out of nowhere, Finn always seems to think that it's all wonderful and perfect. He nods and moves his hands to cup Finn's cheeks instead, kissing him slower and warmer now, lingering for a good while before pulling away. ]

Good. Let me just get the bathroom ready and then we can climb in. Get your clothes off in the meantime.

[ One more kiss and then he pulls away, going into the bathroom and suspiciously closes the door behind him, the sound of running water coming next. He doesn't want Finn so much as getting a glimpse of the bathroom as he lights all the candles, then sprinkles some of the rose petals on the bath water, which he also adds a bit of shower gel to so it bubbles up.

Once the water's getting on a decent level, he takes his own clothes off, then opens the door just a bit, waiting for Finn to come in. ]

[ The only thing Finn ever wants to do with Jim is spend time with him, watching him smile and be happy. That's the baseline, anyway. Maybe there are preferences here and there, but there's yet to be a suggestion that Finn even considered saying no to.

He melts into the kiss, but it ends far too early for him to really become a puddle about it. Still, he seems happy enough to take a few orders and allows James to escape the grip of his arms.

The closed door doesn't even set off any bells in his head as he simply undresses (he understands if Jim wants a second to himself after that). Most of his attention is actually on the bed, less about the activities that's likely to happen later and way way way more about how it's been decorated. Rose petals on a bed. James really did so much, wanted tonight to be wonderful all for Finn.

He knows if he thinks about it too long, gets really lost in his thoughts about how cared for he is and how he never dreamed in all his life that he could have this, he'll just start crying. So he blinks a few times, breathes, and focuses on removing his clothes.

He finishes just as the door opens again, and he smiles to James before walking inside... then stops... and smiles wide again. Dammit, he's sure to tear up before the night's over at this rate. But for now, there's no words that he can think of that aren't nonsensical, repetitive, or just plain dumb. So Finn turns around, gets his arms around James' neck, and kisses him deeply again. As deep as he can with his dumb smile. ]

[ At least this much Jim isn't nervous about. He knows Finn will enjoy what he's put together for him, even if the decoration might be a little cheesy and over the top. Finn always seems to appreciate the kinds of romantic gestures that Jim enjoys too.

So his smile widens as he watches Finn take in the decoration, then he grins and chuckles once he turns around to kiss him. His arms wind around Finn's shoulders, and he presses back into the kiss, which is brief and light considering that they're both grinning like idiots right now. ]

Come on. Let's get into the tub.

[ He pulls back and takes Finn's hand, stepping closer to the tub. The water's still running, but he steps in anyway, letting out a soft gasp as he touches the surface with his toes. ]

Oh, it's hot. Okay, [ He takes a breath, then steps inside. Hot is good, he reminds himself. It'll take longer for it to get cold and uncomfortable. Although to be fair, they can just keep filling it up if they need to.

Once he sits on one end of the tub, he turns off the tap and gently tugs on Finn's hand so he'll join him. ]

[ Finn stifles a laugh when James is surprised at the temperature of the water he himself drew up. He watches his lover settle before obeying the tug and stepping in- Oh yeah, that is hot. He shivers once he's got a foot inside, but the rest of him is quick to follow.

It's so hot that his body almost thinks it's too cold once he sits down, but it slowly starts to seep in and he sighs as he finally relaxes. Then, promptly, he leans into Jim. ]

This is perfect. [ This. Tonight. All of it. Finn's hand stays in his, threading their fingers together. ] What made you think to plan this part, too?

[ They do spend a lot of time in the shower together. And there was that whole mermaid thing, too. And that time in the public bathhouse, but James doesn't remember that bit. But whatever the reason was for him to plan out bath time, Finn loves it. It's definitely cheesy, super romantic, and makes him feel cared for. Loved, even. ]

[ Look, it felt less hot on his hand, okay? Anyway, it's easy enough to get used to it, and once Finn is in the water he splashes just a bit of water at him, chuckling as a rose petal gets stuck to his collarbone. Plucking that out, he leans in for a quick peck. ]

I don't know. I just wanted tonight to be special in other ways, [ He shrugs. ] The bath wasn't like something I was determined to do, it was more a spur of the moment as I was doing the bedroom. Thought I'd do something nice with it too.

[ Finn splashes a little water at him, too, even though he's leaning against him awfully close. It's a fun, lazy little retaliation, and he does like the look of rose petals on his skin. He's slower to pluck those away than James had been. ]

Well, I love it. We do spend a lot of quality time in showers and baths. [ Mostly on Prismatic but they still do. Actually- He glances up from his chest to meet his eyes. ] I told you about the time we had sex in a public bath, right?

[ It's not a full-on water fight, nor is it meant to be. Jim's not planning on making a mess of the bathroom, so he just yelps a little and laughs, not minding the petals that end up to his shoulders. ]

Mm, yeah, you've told me about that one, [ He chuckles as he remembers the story. ] The one where someone kind of probably walked in on us. Very... shameless of you, I was impressed. We should do that again sometime.

[ There are public baths here, after all. Jim's definitely up for a repeat, even if it'll be a new memory for him. ]

[ Hey, he was perfectly intent to be good until someone started teasing. Then it was fair play. But anyway, Finn's smile gets wider as he plucks another rose petal from Jim's chest. ]

Yeah? We were starting to get in a little public indecency. I think I'd be very willing to continue that, so going to another bath house sounds fun.

[ For Finn, it's not really about... repeating things. Yes, he'd be overjoyed if James remembered their time back then, but it's not really that important, not in this context. He's all about making new memories, and going again just sounds genuinely fun. ]

I don't think public indecency will be as much of an issue around here, to be fair.

[ After all, plenty of people get busy on all kinds of places, here. he himself has had a number of sexual encounters in all too public places, and the bath house hasn't even been the most inappropriately public of all of them. ]

That's settled, then. We'll go there one day. But for now, you get to have this private spa treatment...

[ He reaches out to start running his fingers through Finn's hair, fingertips rubbing gently against the scalp in a slow massage. ]

[ Finn's already looking forward to their day at the bath house, and he was about to say something about the whole thing before being so wonderfully interrupted. With James' hand on his scalp and this water warming him to the core, Finn hums and lets his eyes close, melting into the touch. ]

Private spa. I like the sound of that. [ His hands find Jim's torso beneath the water, running up to his chest and one over his neck. It's like he's massaging at the shoulder, but it's partly a need for contact and an excuse to move closer. ]

[ It's not really a proper spa, nor has Jim gathered the supplies needed for it, but a scalp, neck and shoulder massage he can definitely manage.

He smiles softly at the way Finn practically melts into the touch, and he slips in closer, allowing Finn easier access to his own back and shoulders. His fingers work their way through Finn's hair, running from his temples to his nape, then back up to scratch along the spots behind his ears. ]

[ Something about the way Jim moves is apparently ticklish, since Finn starts to giggle. His shoulders hunch up for a second before he relaxes again, swaying against James and resting with a smile on his face now.

However, his eyes do open to watch his hands move along either side of Jim's neck, slightly into his hair. Could it really be called a massage? All he's doing is touching him. Constantly. What he's always wanted, really. ]

You're beautiful... Have I said that yet today?

[ Does it really matter what they're calling it? No, not particularly. They're touching each other, and they're enjoying it. That's all that truly matters in the end.

He chuckles softly when Finn speaks, opening his eyes again, nails dragging gently down to his nape, then along his shoulders. ]

Mm, maybe not today... but I don't mind hearing it more than once, anyway.

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