[ It's not what he wants to do. Right now, he wants desperately to get Finn out of that cell, to see him, to get to just touch him or talk to him in person. But he also doesn't want to be hurting like this, to feel like he's been disregarded yet again, but here they are.
That quiet noise turns into more distinct sobbing on his end, only for a couple of seconds before Jim's taking in a deep breath and swallowing it all down. ]
I'm sorry.
[ That he has to do this, that he has to— they're not breaking up, it's not a break up, he reminds himself. Doesn't make it any easier, the very concept of taking a break carrying a finality with it that Jim loathes. ]
We'll figure out a way to get you out of there. I promise you. Just... for the love of whatever's dearest to you, don't do anything stupid again. Just wait.
[ Finn wants a lot of things, too, not the least of which is to actually see James for all the pain it would cause. But he doesn't deserve any of them. Especially not after hearing James cry like that, being unable to reach him, knowing it's his fault... ]
We- We won't. I won't. We'll wait... I'm sorry.
[ Deep, almost steadying breath. ] You shouldn't be, too. It's my fault. You-... It's my fault.
[ But he can't say anything else after that, new tears coming to his eyes while he tries to grind his teeth and hold his breath, not make a sound. ]
[ Softer, more quietly, ] Stop that. It's not helping.
[ Yes, he is aware that he just scolded Finn, with the knowledge that he'd probably make him feel guilty, but the last thing they need, and the last thing he wants, is for Finn to be consumed by guilt right now. ]
Just be careful. If you have any plans or ideas, let the rest of us know. Just... want you to make it out of there alive and safe.
[ A little too late for that wish. Though, to be fair, he was already feeling extremely guilty before he talked to James, just knowing what was coming. He knew he disappointed him the moment the chains snapped on.
There's a quiet pause, thinking about the alive and safe comment, before he decides being quiet really isn't going to help.
But this is his fault, not Jim's. He's not letting that one go. But he gathers himself enough to answer, anyway. ]
Yeah... Yeah, we will... We won't do anything on our own...
[ ... He has no idea what else to say. He can't say anything to make this better, he knows that.
He wants to tell him that he loves him so badly. ]
[ Well, if there's blame to be found, he'd also lean towards Finn, but it wasn't his intention to make Finn drown in guilt right now. He was just too angry and upset to realize that's exactly what would happen when he reached out to him like this.
Anyway, nothing they can do about it, now. He just hopes that Finn really will take this time to think things through, really examine if he'd be happy in this relationship, with the compromises that Jim's unwilling to budge on. They can't keep having this conversation, and Jim can't handle this cycle repeating itself each time there's a new mission. And sticking to Finn's side all the time just isn't an option— he needs to trust him. ]
Alright.
[ It doesn't look like they can, anyway. Which is good in a way, he supposes, even if it means they're locked up with no ideas on how to get out. This is going to be a serious problem to deal with, and Jim feels utterly helpless, knowing he's on this side, unable to really do anything about it. ]
Hopefully we'll manage to find a way over there, soon. Meanwhile I'll be in touch with others there, and... we'll figure something out, get you out of there.
[ There's another long silence, at least this time not filled with sounds of crying anymore. ]
[ He has nothing to do in here except think. Granted, he's not thinking very clearly. His current position is that maybe he should distance himself from James if this is how things are going to keep going, that he's just going to keep hurting him, that he's just not made for this sort of thing.
But he also knows he's not thinking clear right now for a ton of reasons, not just this conversation. So he's not running his mouth either. Thankfully.
At the same time, he's not really saying anything. He's at a total loss, and it's not like he knows how to reassure James about this whole escape thing. The whole... his safety... thing... So he's quiet for a long moment... ]
I know. [ He swallows. ] I know you will... I'll see you then.
[ He has no idea how to face him, but that's for later. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
That quiet noise turns into more distinct sobbing on his end, only for a couple of seconds before Jim's taking in a deep breath and swallowing it all down. ]
I'm sorry.
[ That he has to do this, that he has to— they're not breaking up, it's not a break up, he reminds himself. Doesn't make it any easier, the very concept of taking a break carrying a finality with it that Jim loathes. ]
We'll figure out a way to get you out of there. I promise you. Just... for the love of whatever's dearest to you, don't do anything stupid again. Just wait.
no subject
We- We won't. I won't. We'll wait... I'm sorry.
[ Deep, almost steadying breath. ] You shouldn't be, too. It's my fault. You-... It's my fault.
[ But he can't say anything else after that, new tears coming to his eyes while he tries to grind his teeth and hold his breath, not make a sound. ]
no subject
[ Yes, he is aware that he just scolded Finn, with the knowledge that he'd probably make him feel guilty, but the last thing they need, and the last thing he wants, is for Finn to be consumed by guilt right now. ]
Just be careful. If you have any plans or ideas, let the rest of us know. Just... want you to make it out of there alive and safe.
no subject
There's a quiet pause, thinking about the alive and safe comment, before he decides being quiet really isn't going to help.
But this is his fault, not Jim's. He's not letting that one go. But he gathers himself enough to answer, anyway. ]
Yeah... Yeah, we will... We won't do anything on our own...
[ ... He has no idea what else to say. He can't say anything to make this better, he knows that.
He wants to tell him that he loves him so badly. ]
no subject
Anyway, nothing they can do about it, now. He just hopes that Finn really will take this time to think things through, really examine if he'd be happy in this relationship, with the compromises that Jim's unwilling to budge on. They can't keep having this conversation, and Jim can't handle this cycle repeating itself each time there's a new mission. And sticking to Finn's side all the time just isn't an option— he needs to trust him. ]
Alright.
[ It doesn't look like they can, anyway. Which is good in a way, he supposes, even if it means they're locked up with no ideas on how to get out. This is going to be a serious problem to deal with, and Jim feels utterly helpless, knowing he's on this side, unable to really do anything about it. ]
Hopefully we'll manage to find a way over there, soon. Meanwhile I'll be in touch with others there, and... we'll figure something out, get you out of there.
[ There's another long silence, at least this time not filled with sounds of crying anymore. ]
I'll see you soon, Finn.
no subject
But he also knows he's not thinking clear right now for a ton of reasons, not just this conversation. So he's not running his mouth either. Thankfully.
At the same time, he's not really saying anything. He's at a total loss, and it's not like he knows how to reassure James about this whole escape thing. The whole... his safety... thing... So he's quiet for a long moment... ]
I know. [ He swallows. ] I know you will... I'll see you then.
[ He has no idea how to face him, but that's for later. ]