I did. I did mean to do it, just-- when it happened, I couldn't handle it. I thought I could take the sacrifices it would make, but couldn't when other people started getting hurt.
[he sighs. this is even more uncomfortable now he knows about the empire.]
Make a better world for those I thought deserved it. Wipe away all the old stuff I thought was wrong.
It's so difficult to imagine Archie like one of them. He's too... rough. Too kind. It makes no sense that he would think such a thing.
But he had and he tried. And didn't finish it. Finn looks back to him now, blank and evaluating. A large part of him wants to leave and think about this revelation, but there isn't really much to think about. Archie is exhausted and vulnerable, being honest in this moment about his regrets. And, in the end, he'd done the right thing.
He lets the silence for another moment, thinking carefully about his response. ]
I helped kill innocent people. The only friend I had in the First Order is dead because of me. And those are only the deaths that I intended to cause... It's what we do after that changes how we are, I think. Survival. We have to learn how to live with ourselves, somehow.
You did the right thing in the end. I'm not going to hold it over you.
[he's quiet for a moment as he works that over. it ends with him taking finn's hand again, a gesture he so often uses for comfort. one that brings himself comfort as well. it's a light touch, clearly so if finn wants to pull away it won't be hard for him to do so.]
I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Finn. [that doesn't change anything, but it makes his answer about the porter earlier makes sense. finn should have his friend back, shouldn't he? archie glances over at him.] I hope you hold yourself to that as well.
[if finn's hand is still there, archie gives it a squeeze as he looks over, head still resting on the back of the couch.]
[ Finn doesn't pull away from Archie's grip, though he didn't tell him to get condolences for it. People shouldn't be sorry for him, but... he just doesn't mention it.
He does give another weak smile, squeezing Archie's hand back as he sinks into the couch, too. A part of him is shocked he's still allowed to sit there. He hums in thanks. ]
It hurts, but... don't give up with your friend. There are other ways we can help.
[he glances away a little at the smile-- he can tell he said something wrong or... not quite right, but doesn't know what it was. surely he should know better by now?]
...You don't think chugging energy drinks would help get over this, huh? [he asks lightly.]
Especially ones like healing... but that's what the Squad's for.
[ Speaking of, he wonders if using more people to heal Archie's friend would help at all. Ganging up on the matter and having more stamina between them all.
If Finn actually thought it could work, he'd probably mention it. ]
Figures this fucking happens right after you did all that hard work, [he says with a grumble. he's so fucking tired and it's not just the stamina drain.] I wish this could've been better...
I hope this isn't discouraging you. I have a habit of smearing my misery on everyone around me.
[ Maybe. But Finn shrugs. ] Live and learn. [ No use dwelling on what could be. Have to keep moving forward.
He sighed to himself. ] Would it better on you if I took Mightyena home with me or if I just came by to walk him? [ Either way, Finn was going to be popping in and checking up. ]
[live and learn. dwell on it until you die full of regrets. the usual stuff.]
Ah... he'll want to come back at night. Sorry... I know that makes it a bit awkward. If it's too much then you can probably talk him into staying at yours for the night.
[the pokémon in question whines, ears going back and rests his head on archie's lap. archie sighs sadly, reaching out to pet him.]
[well, that's about all the energy he has in him today. archie leans over until his head is resting on finn's shoulder and very much will fall asleep if given the chance!!!]
[ Finn hums and nods, letting Archie lean back on him again and going comfortably silent for a moment...
The moment apparently stretched a bit because Archie's now out and-... Okay. Finn supposes he's here now. Not so bad... He'll just go ahead and nap, too, then. ]
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[he sighs. this is even more uncomfortable now he knows about the empire.]
Make a better world for those I thought deserved it. Wipe away all the old stuff I thought was wrong.
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It's so difficult to imagine Archie like one of them. He's too... rough. Too kind. It makes no sense that he would think such a thing.
But he had and he tried. And didn't finish it. Finn looks back to him now, blank and evaluating. A large part of him wants to leave and think about this revelation, but there isn't really much to think about. Archie is exhausted and vulnerable, being honest in this moment about his regrets. And, in the end, he'd done the right thing.
He lets the silence for another moment, thinking carefully about his response. ]
I helped kill innocent people. The only friend I had in the First Order is dead because of me. And those are only the deaths that I intended to cause... It's what we do after that changes how we are, I think. Survival. We have to learn how to live with ourselves, somehow.
You did the right thing in the end. I'm not going to hold it over you.
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I had no idea. I'm so sorry, Finn. [that doesn't change anything, but it makes his answer about the porter earlier makes sense. finn should have his friend back, shouldn't he? archie glances over at him.] I hope you hold yourself to that as well.
[if finn's hand is still there, archie gives it a squeeze as he looks over, head still resting on the back of the couch.]
The feeling's mutual, by the way.
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He does give another weak smile, squeezing Archie's hand back as he sinks into the couch, too. A part of him is shocked he's still allowed to sit there. He hums in thanks. ]
It hurts, but... don't give up with your friend. There are other ways we can help.
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...You don't think chugging energy drinks would help get over this, huh? [he asks lightly.]
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I tried an energy drink once. I don't recommend it if you already feel bad.
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You're probably right. [he leans back again, flexing his hands a little.] ...It's kind of scary that even the powers are pretty fallible.
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[ Speaking of, he wonders if using more people to heal Archie's friend would help at all. Ganging up on the matter and having more stamina between them all.
If Finn actually thought it could work, he'd probably mention it. ]
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I hope this isn't discouraging you. I have a habit of smearing my misery on everyone around me.
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We're a team now, right? If you come across something like that again, call one of us. You know I'll be there. You don't have to do it yourself.
[ Pot, meet kettle. ]
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kind of stupid. wasn't it?] ...Maybe we need a buddy system.
[he looks at finn again.]
No offense. I think us healer types are all like this.
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[ Which... he regrets heavily now. Should definitely get on that. If they can't coordinate with each other, what's the point? ]
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[yeah that's archie managing to feel shitty about it as well. a good pair these two are.]
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He sighed to himself. ] Would it better on you if I took Mightyena home with me or if I just came by to walk him? [ Either way, Finn was going to be popping in and checking up. ]
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Ah... he'll want to come back at night. Sorry... I know that makes it a bit awkward. If it's too much then you can probably talk him into staying at yours for the night.
[the pokémon in question whines, ears going back and rests his head on archie's lap. archie sighs sadly, reaching out to pet him.]
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Of course, I'll bring him back. It's no trouble. He's worried about you, too.
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[he reaches out to give mightyena scratches behind his ears.]
Crobat might start followin' you around, but don't pay him any mind. He doesn't mean any harm.
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I mean, I don't mind him following me, either.
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[archie reaches out and gives finn's hand a squeeze again, not letting go.]
You already met 'em, 'fore you wonder. Crobat's just overprotective. He can look after himself, too, so don't worry about him.
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I'll keep an eye on him, anyway.
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[well, that's about all the energy he has in him today. archie leans over until his head is resting on finn's shoulder and very much will fall asleep if given the chance!!!]
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The moment apparently stretched a bit because Archie's now out and-... Okay. Finn supposes he's here now. Not so bad... He'll just go ahead and nap, too, then. ]