[ There's the sound of Poe aggressively rubbing his face before he continues. ]
He just - sure, he thinks it's a bad thing. If it's done as a preemptive strike.
But you know, Dameron, [ He said, taking a slightly different voice to approximate Akobi's: ] War changes things. Sometimes blowing fucking planets full of civilians up is the only way to end a war!
I'm just--
I hung up on him. I can't play nice with shit like that, and I've been trying so hard but how am I supposed to handle that...
[ Akobi, then. Finn just... tilted his head back far enough to stare up at the ceiling. ]
People-... When people are forced to do terrible things, they have to justify it to themselves someway. That's how- [ That's how Nines, Zeroes and Slip dealt with things. He didn't say that. ]
It doesn't make it right, obviously. It's just really hard to tell people otherwise.
I can put up with a lot. I can understand a lot. If I couldn’t, then me and 622 would never— it’s not like I don’t know he venerates the Empire, right? I know that. But he wouldn’t even believe me that the Empire destroyed planets. It was so far from his vision and belief system that he just outright thought I was lying.
But Akobi—
[ He stopped short again, his voice hardening. ]
Akobi told me that I couldn’t keep walking the line between rebel and imperial, here. That if I couldn’t support the- the fucking imperial ideal, or some shit, that it meant I wasn’t with them. That I couldn’t have both.
[ His voice was shaking with rage. ]
I am so fucking tired of this fucking bantha shit. If he takes this from me, Finn, I—- [ But he couldn’t finish the sentence. ]
[ That doesn't really surprise him about 622. Even in the Order, they were trained to overlook the bad and highlight the good.
But his train of thought slips as Poe continues. ] He what!? No, that's not fair! You more than anyone put everything into this truce, but he's going to threaten you with sides because you think Alderaan was bad?
[ Dammit, dammit! He was just starting to trust Akobi. What the hell is this? ]
I don't fucking get it! [ He admits, throwing his arms up. Which you know, isn't visible, but probably audible in his voice somehow. ]
I don't get it. I was talking about Hux. All he had to do was not try to tell me when it's okay to blow up planets and we would have been fine, but I can't fucking ignore that.
Maybe- [ Finn scrubs at his eyes and tosses his hand up in the air. ] Maybe give him a breather or something. I mean, whatever he thinks, he has to realize that blowing up planets is going to be a damn controversial topic, at the very least.
[ But it shouldn't be and that's Poe's whole point. But is Akobi so blind that he can't see the other side of that argument? ]
How bad do you think this is? [ 622-wise, he meant. Also about the truce. That's a thing, too. ]
No. I think I need to talk to him. I hung up on him, but this - it's not going to go away. We may as well get the whole damn thing out now, if we've already started.
[ He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, so there was a pause of several seconds. ]
... I don't know. I don't think he's going to do anything. He's not - he's not like Hux, he's not like one of them, he just thinks he has to fucking defend them for some reason.
But if he thinks I can't be friends with them and friends with - well everyone else - then I don't know what I can do, there. If he tells 622 that he shouldn't be seeing me, I... [ He trailed off, deflating. ]
I don't think he'd disobey a direct order like that. I know how this works.
[ He should have expected that. Telling Poe to pause was like telling the wind not to blow. Maybe the high emotions wouldn't drag them down a bad path... Yeah, that was surely possible.
His lip curls at all of this. Especially at that last thing. ] Duty does not come first. Not like this.
He's being unreasonable. If he tries to make an order about-... [ A frustrated huff. ] It's not going to happen, Poe.
[ He should let Poe handle this. He should stay out of this mess. His thumb taps against his thigh, caught in indecision and feeling a clock ticking down somewhere. ]
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He just - sure, he thinks it's a bad thing. If it's done as a preemptive strike.
But you know, Dameron, [ He said, taking a slightly different voice to approximate Akobi's: ] War changes things. Sometimes blowing fucking planets full of civilians up is the only way to end a war!
I'm just--
I hung up on him. I can't play nice with shit like that, and I've been trying so hard but how am I supposed to handle that...
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People-... When people are forced to do terrible things, they have to justify it to themselves someway. That's how- [ That's how Nines, Zeroes and Slip dealt with things. He didn't say that. ]
It doesn't make it right, obviously. It's just really hard to tell people otherwise.
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I just - I thought he was better than this. I thought he was different.
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I'm sorry. [ Because he's not helping and knows it. ] It is wrong. Deep down, he knows, too.
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[ He cut off, clicking his tongue. ]
I can put up with a lot. I can understand a lot. If I couldn’t, then me and 622 would never— it’s not like I don’t know he venerates the Empire, right? I know that. But he wouldn’t even believe me that the Empire destroyed planets. It was so far from his vision and belief system that he just outright thought I was lying.
But Akobi—
[ He stopped short again, his voice hardening. ]
Akobi told me that I couldn’t keep walking the line between rebel and imperial, here. That if I couldn’t support the- the fucking imperial ideal, or some shit, that it meant I wasn’t with them. That I couldn’t have both.
[ His voice was shaking with rage. ]
I am so fucking tired of this fucking bantha shit. If he takes this from me, Finn, I—- [ But he couldn’t finish the sentence. ]
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But his train of thought slips as Poe continues. ] He what!? No, that's not fair! You more than anyone put everything into this truce, but he's going to threaten you with sides because you think Alderaan was bad?
[ Dammit, dammit! He was just starting to trust Akobi. What the hell is this? ]
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I don't get it. I was talking about Hux. All he had to do was not try to tell me when it's okay to blow up planets and we would have been fine, but I can't fucking ignore that.
I can't, Finn.
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Maybe- [ Finn scrubs at his eyes and tosses his hand up in the air. ] Maybe give him a breather or something. I mean, whatever he thinks, he has to realize that blowing up planets is going to be a damn controversial topic, at the very least.
[ But it shouldn't be and that's Poe's whole point. But is Akobi so blind that he can't see the other side of that argument? ]
How bad do you think this is? [ 622-wise, he meant. Also about the truce. That's a thing, too. ]
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[ He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, so there was a pause of several seconds. ]
... I don't know. I don't think he's going to do anything. He's not - he's not like Hux, he's not like one of them, he just thinks he has to fucking defend them for some reason.
But if he thinks I can't be friends with them and friends with - well everyone else - then I don't know what I can do, there. If he tells 622 that he shouldn't be seeing me, I... [ He trailed off, deflating. ]
I don't think he'd disobey a direct order like that. I know how this works.
Duty comes first.
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His lip curls at all of this. Especially at that last thing. ] Duty does not come first. Not like this.
He's being unreasonable. If he tries to make an order about-... [ A frustrated huff. ] It's not going to happen, Poe.
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[ But for the first time, he's really starting to understand just how precariously balanced his relationship with 622 really is.
And how little control he has over its outcome.
He feels queasy. ]
I really hope not.
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[ He's not sure he believes it. Because it would be stupid, but at the same time...
He's been ignoring inevitable for months. Pretending if he just ignored it hard enough, it didn't exist, wouldn't happen.
But now he feels like he can feel the fuse slowly burning. ]
I'll talk to him. Akobi. I'll fix it.
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Let me know how it goes.
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[ He lets out a breath that's closer to a sigh. ]
Thanks, Finn.
[ And he disconnects. ]