I'm not sure anything could make it better... Probably living in the moment is the best we could do.
[ Or maybe just the best Finn could do. He wanted to run and hide from this other version of himself now, his feelings conflicted in ways he hadn't really thought possible. ]
[ There was a significant pause, Poe's gaze a little unfocused as he looked out to the trees. ]
That's what I've been trying to do. I didn't used to. I mean - yeah, sure, living in the moment as in not really expecting to live another one, maybe, but I've been trying to just - take it as it comes, here.
Easier said than done, though. But I am trying.
Just turns out that half of what comes is other people going.
[ Finn wished there was something he could say that would change this whole perception. Hell, he just wished Poe would give an honest smile again. The problem is he didn't know what all Poe's been through. He could talk with positive flowy words all day, but he didn't know what it was like, to be stuck here so long, to lose people, to have loved ones forget you.
Except he did have some experience, only with an entirely different context. The First Order wasn't like this place. Reconditioning wasn't like whatever happened to Finn. But it kind of was? ]
People go, but a little of people come in. Some people come back. [ Though not him. He didn't mean him. More like, he meant that the other might. ] All anyone can do is try. It's- It's impossible. I don't think people are supposed to live like that, but we can try. It works sometimes, right? That's worth it.
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no subject
... Yeah. Yeah, no, you're right. That's a good way of looking at it.
[ He gave a rueful smile that didn't reach his eyes. ]
Doesn't really make it a hell of a lot better, but. It's a nice thought.
no subject
I'm not sure anything could make it better... Probably living in the moment is the best we could do.
[ Or maybe just the best Finn could do. He wanted to run and hide from this other version of himself now, his feelings conflicted in ways he hadn't really thought possible. ]
no subject
[ There was a significant pause, Poe's gaze a little unfocused as he looked out to the trees. ]
That's what I've been trying to do. I didn't used to. I mean - yeah, sure, living in the moment as in not really expecting to live another one, maybe, but I've been trying to just - take it as it comes, here.
Easier said than done, though. But I am trying.
Just turns out that half of what comes is other people going.
no subject
Except he did have some experience, only with an entirely different context. The First Order wasn't like this place. Reconditioning wasn't like whatever happened to Finn. But it kind of was? ]
People go, but a little of people come in. Some people come back. [ Though not him. He didn't mean him. More like, he meant that the other might. ] All anyone can do is try. It's- It's impossible. I don't think people are supposed to live like that, but we can try. It works sometimes, right? That's worth it.
no subject
Yeah, of course it's worth it.
[ Using Finn's shoulder as leverage, he stood back up, then leaned over the rail. ]
Every second we're alive and with people we care about, it's worth it. Just gotta keep that in the front of my mind, I guess.
I just didn't want you to get bogged down with this stuff. I know it's a lot.
no subject
I can handle it. [ To be honest, he wasn't sure Poe even believed that. ]
no subject
[ He took a breath and then a step back. ]
... Come on. You want a coffee? I could use a coffee.
no subject
Yeah, sounds good.