hatejakku | erku: IC Contact

[ That they were close has become abundantly clear, to him. What he meant was whether or not they were— well, together. There always seems to be so much depth to Finn's feelings for him, sometimes it just makes him wonder.

And after their last two encounters, that thought's just become more present in his mind. Always there, making him wonder.

But Finn sounds honest. And if they've only really had the one date —and a date that doesn't sound all that serious— then... they really must've had nothing more serious going on. Which, of course, makes him wonder why, and if Jim himself was the reason.

He lets out a quiet sigh at that, nodding. Why does he feel just that bit disappointed? Anyway. ]

I don't know. Sometimes it just seems like we were... closer than that. [ Like you care about me more than that. He decides against saying that out loud. ]

Would you want to, now? I mean, go on dates, and stuff. I know I'm not the same Jim, but...

[ Well, he likes Finn regardless. ]

[ Seems like they're closer than that sometimes, huh? Finn would like to chalk that one up to those drinks but he knows better. This was his fault, projecting his own desires and feelings into the things he said, not being careful or detached enough to remove from the situation.

He nearly says some of that, something to reassure Jim that they hadn't been together or another apology about making it seem more than it was, but every thought leaves his mind when the question comes. Well, other than asking himself 'wait, did he really mean it like that.'

There's not a billion interpretations Finn could take with that one, though. James sounds pretty clear. But it'd be great if Finn knew what to say. Sounds too good to be true, surely. Sounds like a trap that James doesn't even realize he's setting up for himself.

Finn's eyes are wide and he doesn't move for a moment, trying to process and filter through various responses, trying to figure out the right one even if it may not be the one he wants... He can start somewhere, though, after silently working his mouth for a second. ]

You are the same. [ He remembers that Jim had this theory about different versions of themselves, and Finn can understand some of that but not in this case. This man sitting beside him is still his James Kirk, give or take a few memories.

With that firmly established, he believes, Finn scoots a little closer. The wide, shocked eyes turn a little worried now. A little scared. It's a stupid question he has in his head and the pause proves that he knows it, but Finn speaks quietly anyway. ]

Are you sure? We-

You had someone. Back there. I don't know anything about them, it's why I didn't mention it before, I didn't want to hurt you or make you wonder about things we couldn't know anything else about. But you didn't- We weren't, um-

[ What he's trying to say is that James had someone that he genuinely cared about, someone he cared for more than Finn, and perhaps maybe he should wait for them or someone like them instead of... settling? Stars, he literally can't say any of those words strung together in present company. James probably wouldn't care for such a display.

One thing's for sure. It's not a good look to ask 'are you sure' when someone asks if they like them or not. But, well- ] Are you sure?

[ It brings him at least some comfort to hear Finn say that. He smiles; what it means, hearing that, is that however Finn felt for him back in Prismatica, he still feels it now.

Is it right to want to be the recipient of those feelings, even when there might be differences between him and this other Jim? When he's not really the same person that Finn forged a relationship with? Maybe not.

He feels a little selfish for wanting it, but he also likes it enough not to care. ]

I had someone. [ That's a little surprising to hear, actually, and his tone and expression both show that much. He takes a moment to absorb that, puzzle that out in his head. ]

But... they're not here, are they? No one else has recognized me. Only you. And it's not— that's not why I'm asking this, by the way. Although... I do like that you care about me, and I like you too. I like being around you. You... [ He trails off, then lets out a huff, smiling and shrugging. ] You make me smile.

[ It seems like such a stupid thing to say, when it leaves his mouth. But it is the truth; Finn makes him feel good. ]

Yeah. I'm sure. Why wouldn't I be?

[ This conversation feels so bizarre to Finn, and he searches Jim's face as if to find some doubt in there. It's not like he thinks this is a marriage proposal or whatever. He just doesn't want Jim to regret this decision.

But there's not a shred of doubt to be found, at least none that Finn can find. Doesn't make it feel any more real or give him any optimism that this could really work out even for the short-term that these places force on them.

But, dammit, they both want to try this, James wants to try this, and Finn's going to make it happen. He takes his hand, lacing their fingers together, and finally gives a smile. ]

I'd like that. Dating and stuff. You-... You make me smile, too.

[ And he just doesn't answer that last question. It's a long list. ]

[ Jim doesn't really think that Finn will say no to him. It's not that he takes Finn for granted or anything, but from the times they've spent together, he can't imagine why he wouldn't want to have even more time with him.

Still, he feels a unique kind of thrill when Finn takes his hand, heart jumping in his chest. His smile widens, warm and soft, and his fingers curl tighter through Finn's own, holding his hand tightly. ]

Good. I like to see you smile.

[ His other hand reaches out to cup Finn's face, and he leans in to press their lips together, as though that seals a deal between them. ]

[ Finn's smile grows wide enough to hurt, which doesn't make the kiss very ideal. Though, it is still pretty perfect, in his opinion. Finn's fingers curl into the nape of Jim's neck while he returns it as best he can.

It's not too long before he pulls away just enough to press their foreheads together. ]

You might get sick of it if this is how kissing is from now on.

[ Not that Finn's actually complaining. He's so happy, he could cry. He won't, but... a large part of him kinda wants to. ]

[ The kiss doesn't last very long. Jim can feel Finn smiling against his lips, and the contact ends up breaking with a soft laugh, nudging lightly against Finn's side.

He leans in to rest his forehead against Finn's too, letting out a soft, happy little sigh. ]

I don't see why. They're some pretty great kisses.

[ He's sure they'll get to a point when Finn will manage not to cut it short by smiling like an idiot. A very cute idiot. ]

[ The hand not holding his rests against Jim's face while Finn keeps his eyes closed. It's just a moment to take this in, to compose himself and get a little bit a grip.

When he opens his eyes again, he's a little calmer, a little more in love. Though James is mostly a blur from this close, Finn still looks at him like he placed the stars in the sky.

This time when he tilts his head and kisses him deep, his happiness doesn't interrupt them. He just kisses him slowly with as much feeling as he can muster at the moment. Which, as usual, is a lot. ]

[ Up close there's not a lot either of them they can focus on other than each other's eyes, but that's plenty already; it's so much. He sees more emotion in Finn's eyes now than ever before, and it threatens to overwhelm him.

But he doesn't pull away. Instead he lets himself be pulled into yet another kiss, sucking in a breath just as their mouths come together, a soft hum leaving him as he reaches out to cling to Finn's shoulder and neck, turning a little more towards him as they deepen the contact. ]

[ Though they may be an- an item now (and, boy, that thought's going to take some getting used to), he's not about to say any of the three little words just yet. But he wants James to know it more than Finn ever has before, so he's just going to have to do what he's always done: show him. Actions speak louder and all that.

He just doesn't know how to change anything up to convey it a little more but he can try.

Finn hums back in response, moving to face him and pressing their bodies closer together like he can't quite get enough. If Jim's not careful, he might end up with a lap full if Finn before he knows it. ]

[ That's— yep, it's a thought definitely, that'll take some getting used to. And they should also talk things out a little better, but he really doesn't want to do that right now.

Because right now he's enjoying the kissing a whole lot more. The fact that this is their second time kissing without something messing with their minds doesn't escape his notice, although he's glad to find that it feels just as intense and exciting as other times before.

As for getting a lap full of Finn, he's definitely not about to complain. In fact he shifts back on the bed a little more, so it offers Finn more room to settle himself comfortably, without the potential risk of falling off the bed. His hands move to Finn's sides in the meantime, so he can hold him close and keep him there. ]

[ Finn's not thinking about the fact that this is the second time they've kissed without something else involved. Probably not considering it because it's not the second time for him. To Finn, this is familiar. This is as close to home as it gets.

But talking about everything, acknowledging all this stuff right now, it's too much. He feels overwhelmed with it already and needs some sort of outlet for his happiness and disbelief before it takes a swift turn into something sour and anxious. He'll get to that low, eventually. It just better not be now.

Getting a little taken away, he parts for breath but his lips take a detour, climbing up James' jaw to mouth behind his ear, nails lightly scratching against his scalp. If they pause for half a second, he may wonder if they should talk before... this continues. Or literally do anything else before this continues. He wants to do things right, so long as it pleases Jim. It's just that thinking thing, it's difficult. ]

[ He'll have no panicking, no overthinking, no second-guessing right now. Having Finn this close to him feels really good, and the trail his mouth makes up his jaw until he reaches behind his ear feels even better.

He lets out a soft little sound, pleased, head tipping to offer Finn more room to explore, to kiss and nip and taste. His own hands slide down Finn's sides, fingers curling and bunching up the fabric of his shirt, until he can't resist anymore and just slips them underneath the fabric, letting out a shuddered groan as his fingertips trail up the bare skin. ]

[ Finn doesn't bother hiding his gasp or that he tenses for just a second. It's when he shivers that he makes himself relax again, dragging his lips over Jim's neck until he can reach near enough to his shoulder.

Some of his mind comes back to him even though the rest just wants to burrow deeper into the moment. It's enough to let himself wonder how far he's willing to go with this right now. Instead of wasting time and energy thinking about it, Finn just decides to take this slow. He knows that Jim likes things rough and fast, but he just wants to take this in and not think at all.

There is a bite but it's gentle and quickly gone before he starts sucking on that same spot. One hand continues massaging at his scalp while the other dips beneath the back of shirt and rests at the small of his back. ]

[ Jim can definitely manage slow. Actually he tries to let Finn decide the pace here, all too happy to follow rather than lead. Granted, slow doesn't make the sensations any less intense, from the hand snaking underneath his shirt to the biting and sucking on his skin.

That sends a shiver down his spine, drawing a groan from him. It's going to leave a mark, he's sure, which will only match the bite he already has from their time in that very special hot spring. He likes it, though; he's got a lot of marks as it is already, not just from Finn, but those two are definitely the ones he'll be cherishing the most.

Fingers curling and clinging tightly, he tugs Finn closer, slowly trying to coax him to lie down with him. They can take this slow, sure, but that doesn't mean they can lie down and get a little more comfortable. ]

[ Finn follows very easily, more than up for being maneuvered wherever James wants him. As soon as they're down, though, Finn on his side next to him, he's already taken his lips in another deep kiss.

It should be known that Finn has no plan aside from touching as much as he possibly can, which he's already working on by lifting Jim's shirt so his hand can find more skin. It's nice to keep things this slow, but he just wants to make Jim feel good and cherished. One hand does go lower down his back, though, stopping at his waist to hold on to his hip, one of his legs slipping between Jim's. ]

Edited 2020-10-23 16:45 (UTC)

[ Jim manages a soft hum, a little surprised but nevertheless eager to return the kiss, lips parting and slotting over Finn's. His arms wind around Finn's neck, his body shifting closer, legs parting but still trying not to get too eager and start grinding against Finn's thigh right off the bat.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel the urge to do it, though. Having Finn so close to him is definitely tempting, but he can also tell that he wants to take things slow for now, so he tries his best not to push for more just yet. ]

[ Finn shudders a little against him, his breath a bit unsteady. One hand leaves the warmth he had to bury itself into Jim's hair, stroking and petting as he breaks away from the kiss.

Sort of. He can't help but kiss him again for a moment. And then again. And then decides that he'll actually want to stop so- ]

Sorry. [ It's breathless, Finn feeling as if he just ran a marathon from the sheer emotions of it all. ] Just- Just happy. Just want you to feel good.

[ And there's another kiss because of course there is. ]

[ The feeling of those fingers burying into his hair somehow manage to get even more of a response from him than the thigh pressing between his legs. The kiss breaks with a shuddered gasp from him, arching himself closer as he clings to Finn's clothes, head tipping back. ]

What are you apologizing for?

[ That actually makes him laugh softly. Everything is just perfect right now, and there isn't a thing that Jim feels like needs an apology. ]

I do feel good. And I want you to feel good, too.

Getting carried away. [ Though the answer's mostly honest, it's said with a little bit of a teasing smile. Being clingy, really. Rushing things. Etc. That's why he's sorry. It's just dating. It doesn't mean-... Ugh.

But if Jim likes it, who's he to feel guilty?

Finn scratches over his scalp, happy to find that he didn't just like his hair being played with because of the occasional bunny ears. He gently holds on to a bit between his fingers and lightly tugs. ]

You always make me feel good. [ He seems to think about something then comes to a decisions. The decision being why wait. ] I could probably make you feel better, if you like.

[ He returns the smile with a flat stare and a raised eyebrow, amusement coloring his features. Come on now, Finn has to know that he doesn't mind it in the least. Any of it. If anything he likes the thought of Finn getting carried away.

The light tugging on his hair gets a gasp from him, eyes closing and head tipping further, his own hands clinging a little tighter, shifting closer to Finn. ]

Yeah? [ He wets his lips, small smile as he opens his eyes again to look into Finn's. ] And are you gonna tell me... or are you gonna show me?

[ Finn's grin widens, not as mischievous as he is amused and still so so happy. ] Well, since you asked so nicely.

[ He shoves a little against Jim's shoulder until he's on his back, allowing Finn to crawl on top of him. It starts with mouthing at the front of his throat, hands getting under his shirt to ruck it up a little before moving lower and pressing open kisses as he works down James' stomach.

At least with this, he doesn't feel too uncertain. Even if the two Jim's were different people, Finn was still pretty sure he knew what the other liked. There was lube probably in arm's reach knowing this place, so he wasn't too terribly worried about getting carried away again. At least, not right now.

He grazes his teeth beneath Jim's navel in a harmless bite before his eyes dart back up to him, hands working unfasten those pants. ]

[ Jim lets out a huff as he's pushed onto his back, laughing airily. Far be it from him to mind that Finn takes a more active approach— not that he's ever felt him lacking in that regard, mind, but sometimes it's just nice to be the one being guided and coaxed while his partner takes the lead. Maybe it's one of those many things that Finn already knows about him.

He shudders when he feels his shirt being pushed up his torso, though he doesn't yet move to take it off. He's far more interested in the path that Finn's lips take, back arching and body shifting slightly, encouraging him to keep going.

His hips move eventually, if only to help Finn rid him of his trousers. He reaches down to push them past his hips, leaving behind his underwear, and only then does he reach his bunched shirt and pulls it up and over his head, tossing it aside so that too is out of the way. ]

[ Sue him, but Finn has to pause everything and watch as the shirt goes sailing. He presses another open kiss and sucks just above his navel. ]

Beautiful...

[ And now he's moving along, not about to take Jim's trust in him for granted. He said he knows a lot about him from the bedroom and he wants to deliver even just a little bit.

His mouth rests over the bulge in his boxers, tonguing at it gently while his fingers start to divest Jim of that, too. As soon as his cock springs free, Finn momentarily gets the head in his mouth before pulling away again to get rid of those shorts. His mouth is quick to get back on him, though. ]

[ The praise is admittedly unexpected, something that almost seems to come out of the blue. He sucks in a shuddered breath in response, hips shifting, his hands moving down to settle on Finn's shoulders as he starts moving along.

Honestly, Finn wouldn't even need to do much at all to please him. He's already happy enough to just be close to Finn. But that mouth on him definitely manages to drag a groan out of him, head rolling back and knees shifting wider apart as soon as he's completely freed from his clothing. ]

God, Finn...

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